why i am awesome/why boys should want to date me

I wouldn't at all consider myself to be a cocky person, and I'm not even that confident... but I do think that I am a great catch, and that means a lot. All girls should believe this to be true about themselves! You're all faaaabulous. ;) 

After my last ~breakup, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I deserve in a relationship and from a love interest. I think I deserve a great deal because umm... I'm awesome. Woo! Anyways, this entry is my personal *learning to love myself* post.

Why I'm awesome and why boys should want to date me: 

1) I'm pretty intelligent. Okay, okay... So I don't get the best grades, but my GPA does not reflect my level of intelligence at all. I love learning! I love conversation! I love thinking and figuring things out! I have many valid opinions and for the most part, I think reasonably and logically. But, I will be the first one to admit that I've had my fair share of blonde moments, but please don't let that dissuade you from thinking that I am worthy of being deemed intelligent. Pshhhttt.

2) I'm pretty. My boyfriend tells me that I'm pretty all the time, and I usually just respond with something negative or just say, "naaah." I don't even know why I do it. I'm not fishing for compliments, and I don't want him to become frustrated by my replies and never say it... but I have the hardest time just being like, "yeah you're right," or even saying thank you.  Whyyyy? I spent my entire life feeling more insecure than you could possibly imagine. Starting at the age of eight, my mom would look at me and tell me how much better of a body she had at my age, how I was too chubby and should go on a diet, and how bad my skin and hair looked.  Everything about my looks was under constant scrutiny from someone whose opinion I thought was very important, so of course I was going to have some issues with ~self esteem. I have big ass teeth, no lie. But I've grown into them and really quite like them! I say I don't, but I do. When I was in fifth grade, some girls in my class drew a picture of a beaver with huge teeth and titled it "Kelsey." They stuck it in my desk and glared at me with evil little smirks on their faces as they saw my mouth tremble from trying to hold back tears after I saw it. Girls are such bitches! Whatevs, those bitches are having babies n shit already anyways. But back to where I was going with this, I started out as such an ugly little slug. Big glasses, big teeth,  freckles, emaciated looking, pale skin, poor kid clothes... and now, well, I'm pretty much still all of those besides the skinny part and I'm more than okay with it. I don't wish to be anyone else. I can improve myself in certain areas, but I don't think its a necessity. I have a cute body and what I would consider to be a "pretty face." I like how I look, I like my style, yep... prettyyy :) I like being able to say that.

3)  I listen to good music. fuck yeah! I grew up with a DJ as a father figure. I was raised on old school hip hop, rap, funk, blues, tejano and everything in between. I have a broad taste, but the music that I like is  good. Sometimes I'll let a little Ke$ha or Miley Cyrus slip in there, but its only for dancing, I promise!

4) I'm a fantastic lover. What more can I really say? It's good shit! 

5) I'm strong.  Physically, I'm weak as hell... but in every other sense, I'm a very strong person. I've been through a whole mess of hardship in my lifetime (poverty, abandonment, addiction in the family, separation, blah blah) and yeah, I'm alright!I'm strong and I know that I'll have a good life no matter what. 


6) I am ~cool~. I am, I swear it! ;) Mostly I'm just laid back and easy to hangout with. But that totally constitutes "cool" in my books.

7) I am funny. kinda...lol not really

Now I'm tired and running out of things to say... so we'll end this here. 

10 steps to loving yourself: 

1. Stop all Criticism- Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself your changes are positive. 

2. Don’t Scare Yourself-Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure and immediately switch your thoughts to pleasant one’s. 

3.Be Gentle, Kind and Patient- treat yourself with patience, gentleness and kindness. Treat yourself as you would someone whom you loved. 

4. Be Kind to Your Mind-Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Gently change your thoughts to more loving ones. 

5. Praise Yourself-Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it. Tell yourself how well you are doing with everything. 

6. Support Yourself-Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it most. 

7.Be Loving to Your Negatives-Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new positive ways to fulfill those needs. Release the old patterns. 

8. Take Care of Your Body-Learn about nutrition.  What does your body need to have the optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. Cherish the temple you live in. 

9. Mirror Work-Look into your eyes often. Express the growing sense of love you feel for yourself. Forgive yourself for all as you look into the mirror. Once a day say “I love you” at yourself in the mirror. 

10. Do It Now-Don’t wait till you get well, lose weight or get a new job. Begin now, do the best you can.

Tis all! 

ps. http://operationbeautiful.com/