Truth

“The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.”

—	Deepak Chopra

Happy Valentines Day Fuckers

"Think about how many people there are in the United States, and how many of them are going to be celebrating Valentines Day tomorrow. How many people are going to be broken up with at their Valentines day date. Think about how many people are going to finally work up the courage to propose to the person they love...and they're going to say no. Just think about how many people are going to die on Valentines day. How many people are going to crash their car and die on their way to a date, and all of the people who will be sitting at a restaurant somewhere, alone, waiting for their fiance who literally just died trying to get there. So all in all, celebrating Valentines day alone is not the worst thing that could possibly happen.

PS. A lot of people are going to get knocked up and abort it."

-Devan Moran

I will love you...

just dreaming

This August, one of my best friends is going to be marrying the love of her life. While half of me feels kind of sad that we are growing up and becoming adults so quickly, most of me just feels lucky as hell to even know someone my age who believes in her heart that the love she feels is... forever. That the love they share is real, worthwhile, and true. It's really quite beautiful.

So as my senior year comes to a close, I've begun thinking a lot about my future and what's in store for me. I can't even imagine being in a real relationship right now, never mind getting married or anything like that. Craaazy. Anyways, that's not even what this post was about. The fact that my best friend is getting married so soon has had me daydreaming about dresses, wedding cake, party favors,  and cute little paper lanterns. I think this (decorating) will be my favorite part about getting married (assuming this is in the cards for me).

My ~dream wedding~ would be in Autumn, some place in Vermont or New Hampshire. I'd want a small ceremony and a big reception... with a giant bonfire for everyone to dance and sing around. I would be wearing a simple/chic dress, long wavy hair, etc. It would take place on a warm evening. I'd have a bluegrass band, and we'd all be sipping on hard cider and microbrews all night. lol... just dreaming.

Anyways, here's some of my wedding inspiration:

For advice, questions, suggestions, and sexts... contact me at xo_thelovemonster@gmail.com or http://formspring.me/thelovemonster ;)  

xoxo

My Type?

As I walked through the city today, I was kind of shocked by all of the beautiful people that I saw. Okay, there's always beautiful people in the city-- but it just seemed like there were way more today. That, or I am just abnormally horny and/or observant right now.  But I don't think thats it.

Beautiful people were just flocking to the city. Perhaps it was the wonderful 50 degree January weather (thank you global warming). Either way, as I plopped on top of my giant purple rolley bag (such a tourist), I just sat and watched the beautiful people go by for quite some time. So many fabulous, stylish men with perfectly fitting jeans and leather jackets. So many pretty girls with high buns and trendy peacoats. I was in a wannabe fashionista, people watching heaven. But that's not really the point of this post. 

I've come to the realization that I have suuuch a type. In some ways it's a really obvious type and my friends would just be like... well, duh. But I was strangely attracted to some people that seemed to come out of nowhere. Like, whyyyy am I so attracted to these weirdos?  For example, there was this guy walking through the bus station with a group of his friends. I think they were teenagers which is kind of weird but not really. Anyways, they were all wearing black, except for him. He was wearing grey and he had bright, bright blonde hair... he was also very pale. I think he's Swedish. Well,  thats what I imagined in my little 30 second fantasy I had as he walked past me. He was super short which is totally out of my usual realm of attraction; probably 5'5" or something. And he kind of hopped as he walked. He totallyyy knew that people were looking at him because he was dressed kind of like a freak. I can't really describe what he was wearing but I know that it reminded me of people from that old Australian show, The Tribe. 

He was hot as fuck, but at the same time he was actually kind of ugly and I'd probably be embarrassed to bring him around my friends. But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't stare at him for a long time and/or potentially bang him without remorse. Whats wrong with me? 

Then there was this one time at a Krishna Das show when I couldn't keep my eyes off of this blonde like, goth kid. Idk whattt the fuck he was doing at Krishna Das but he totally distracted me from getting my chant on. He was again, shortish and super blonde... he was wearing a huge cross necklace and sat in a pew all by himself for the entire night. He didn't sing, he didn't even look at Krishna Das to be honest... I guess he was just laying there listening to his voice. He intrigued me. And honestly, I usually don't even like blonde guys, really, they're kind of creepy. But this guy was a total mysterious, spirtual-goth babe and a half. After the show was over he rushed out of the church thing and ran down the street. I had a photo of him that I creepily took somewhere but I can't find it right now. I think about him from time to time and how fucked up it was that I had a boyfriend but was totally obsessing over this mystery dude. Maybe blondes are my secret fantasy, maybe I like freaks, who knows. 

But back to my real type (physically speaking). I'm not going to spend a lot of time explaining but here is what I have summed up: dark hair, dark eyes, dark clothing, piercings, beards, music lovers, kind of  dirty, kind of smelly, kind of blink-182ish, bohemianesque, sexually ambiguous, androgynous, not too loud but not awkwardly quiet... idk. Here is a combo of what I am into, in picture form: 

Yum! Well, thats all for now. Tootles. 

A Drunken Interview with Mr. Segro

1. How big is your wiener? From 3-5 inches on a good day. Just kidding its 5 at least.


2. What is the most interesting sexual encounter you have ever had? My ex girlfriend and I had sex in the musical loft of the church looking down on the altar, actually that would be second... B and I had sex on a balcony in Brazil looking down on a bunch of people who could see her big ole double d's bouncing. God those were big boobs.

3. What makes you a good catch? I know that I'm not a good catch and thats what makes me a good catch. What makes me a good catch is what I said earlier, I'm scared of my future daughter getting slapped in the face with a dick. And, more than I want to have sex with a girl, I want to talk to her and find out what makes her..... just kidding.

4. When did you lose your virginity and what was it like? I was fifteen. What do you want a date? It was December 27th. Mmm she had pigtails. And, it was not as good as advertised. I expected sex to be this grand adventure but it was kind of like glorified masturbation. It feels good but I don't feel any supreme mental exhilaration.

5. What was the worst sex you've ever had? Like, what made it so terrible? I would say that the worst sex I've ever had was... pretty recent. Some girl one of my friends likes, she was sober and I was drunk... I couldn't get hard and I was trying to explain how hard it was to get a boner and she didn't get it. It was sex that wold happen for like three minutes then stop, then three minutes and stop and I'm pretty sure there was no pleasure for either of us. And I think she likes me and sent me her number and I never responded because I'm thaaaat much of an asshole.

6. Would you consider yourself a sexually adventurous person? No. I know what I like, and I think I'm fairly open...  I mean, I try to accommodate myself to things like girls telling me to choke them and shit, but I don't want things shoved up my ass.  I don't want anything up my ass and I don't want to put anything up anyones ass.

If I could give you any advice...

It'd be to stop missing him, stop missing her. The person you once loved doesn't even exist anymore, they are changed, as are you. Everything may have seemed great back then, magical even-- but if you really think about it...even if you could go back, if you could have it all back and do it all the same, would you? Would you take all the good and the bad? Knowing what you know now? So stop missing him, stop missing her. The ache will go away, and eventually, that middle of the night hopeless stinging feeling will too. The person you once loved doesn't exist... why chase after their ghost?

this is me...

in case you were wondering c;

The Love Monster Turns 22

So, today is my twenty second birthday. I don't want to be cliche and say that I feel old, but I kinda do! Well, I guess I don't feel that old. But I can't stop dwelling on the fact that I am not going to be this young forever and that my youth is slowly slipping between my fingers. In a few years from now I'll start getting wrinkles and grey hair, and before I know it... my beautiful boobs will sag down to my belly button and I'll be unhappily married with a bunch of bratty kids and a red mini van. Ugh! Its no wonder that this is the first birthday in quite a long time where I haven't felt much excitement at all.

But in all honesty, after thinking back on the last year and looking forward to the future; I realized that I actually learned a lot of valuable lessons during my time being 21... and I really am excited about all of the mystery and possibility that being 22 will entail. This is a big year for me! I am going to be graduating college and moving onto the ~next chapter of my life. This is also the first time in a while that I've been single during my birthday... which is pretty cool in itself.  I actually rang in my 22nd birthday high as balls and making out with an 18 year old boy. Faack, off an exciting start I guess! lol

With that being said, this post is going to be a reflection on the past and a testament to my future as a lovely little 22 year old woman; single, graduating college, and exploring my identity as a solitary practicing witch.


The past:

• Nothing lasts forever. It's not that I didn't know this before, but it became increasingly relevant this year. I turned 21 being totally in love with someone that I had no doubt I'd spend a long, long time with. And like all things, our relationship faded and died (rather quickly). I've learned to really appreciate the present and I'm trying to remember that everyday. With each day that goes by, things don't always seem so different... life seems to just melt together and then one day you wake up and everything has changed. The little things that I may not have cared much about last year (certain hangouts with friends, moments with my boyfriend, dinners, parties, nights at the river, etc) are the things I find myself reminiscing about the most. But again, I know nothing lasts forever... and how things are at the moment is really all I have... & that's a lovely thing indeed. So yeah, I've learned that everything dies and everything changes & it'll be to my benefit to soak in the moments as they come to me. 
• Never let anyone make you feel inferior. I spent my summer with someone who continuously made me feel like shit. He was the only person I have ever let treat me like this, all because I was too weak and crazy to get away.  I was foolish. And by not walking away from it, I was basically giving him consent to make me feel terrible. Every time you don't stand up for yourself, you pretty much are saying, "It's okay to treat me like badly, I acknowledge and accept this behavior. I deserve it."  I know that it's hard to get away from situations like these, but it's important. 
• When in doubt, think... what would Beyonce do right now?
• Kiss as many people as you want. Yep, I learned this! Kissing is fun and therapeutic. Kiss boys, kiss girls, kiss everyone. You're only young once! :)
• Don't waste your time waiting for people to change... because they probably won't. This goes for friendships and relationships. If you are having major issues with someones personality, try and work through it once but if it doesn't workout... don't sweat it. You can't please everyone, and don't waste your time on those who can't please you. 
• You have to be your own number one priority. You can't be constantly worrying about everyone else's issues; its emotionally draining and just not fun. Pamper yourself and make sure that you are okay before you take on other people's problems. There are therapists for a reason...
• Be clear with your intentions. Don't lead people on. Don't make someone like you just to get the attention of anyone. People aren't there to be played with or to make you feel better... so be genuine on your romantic endeavors. 

The Future:

• More self discipline. I have just about none at this point. I can't really force myself to do much and that's an issue. This year, I hope to practice more self discipline by not pressing snooze more than once, washing my dishes as I cook, and practicing tarot on a weekly basis. It's just a start.,.. but anything is better than where I am in that area now :)
• Sleep more regularly. Staying up all night and sleeping in really fucked things this semester. Time to try something new?
• Make love known. I hope to keep in touch with all of my loved ones, and make sure that they know I haven't forgotten about them and that they are on my mind all the time. They are all deserving of my time and my love just as much as I am theirs. 
• Stop worrying, stop dwelling. This fucks everything up. Remember this!!! 
• Be intentional with everything you do. Be precise. Don't act without thought. 
• Dont worry about how you appear to others. Don't worry about how they perceive your personality. 
• You're a goddess, you're a goddess, you're a goddess. Don't forget that.
• Stop binge drinking. The results are never good. 
• Save money. Cut up credit card before January, end use for good. Pay off debt by 2012. 
• Make the best of every moment at GMC. The clock is ticking, its almost the end... have I done and said everything I've been wanting to? Now is my only chance.
• Don't be afraid of love. 
• Be true.

Advice for young girls~

in case you were wondering...

I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of young boys who don't have a clue. I'm sick of your smell. I'm tired of the way you lay your chest on me lazily and thrust without rhythm. I hate the alcohol and the fakeness of it. I'm tired of not remembering your words, or my own... The way I don't even want to look at you.

I keep pretending... that I care for you, that this is worth my time. Its all a distraction, a waste. And I guess it's not your fault. I have never told you the truth, I never will. To me you are nothing, and to you I am the same. Lets keep it that way...

I want something genuine, or someone rather. I want sober conversation and sober kisses. That spark. The illumination. The feeling when you just... know. 

I'm waiting...