The new Heidi?

23 year old actress, Heidi Montag  from MTV show The Hills, recently underwent ten plastic surgery procedures in one single day. Apparently she is on a quest to create the "perfect Heidi." She admitted to Star Magazine that she had been considering plastic surgery for many years and that she had become " beyond obsessed" with the idea of it... Heidi also confessed that she has had many issues with self esteem and that she used to consider herself to be the "frumpy looking best friend of Lauren Conrad."

After having  a: nose job revision, chin reduction, mini brow lift, Botox in her forehead and frown area, fat injections in her cheeks, nasolabial folds and lips, neck liposuction, ear pinning, liposuction on her waist, hips, inner and outer thighs, buttock augmentation and breast augmentation revision, Heidi is still unclear as to whether or not she is done with plastic surgery for good...

Personally, I thought she was really cute before.  Maybe she wasn't as naturally gorgeous as Lauren, but she was very pretty! I can't decide whether or not I like her new face better, she kind of looks like Joan Rivers... hmph. I guess Heidi felt as though her looks were keeping her from progressing in the music industry, which is her current aspiration in life.

Hm, Heidi Montag as a popstar? I had never heard any of her music, and after listening to one of her songs I've come to the conclusion that maybe its not her face thats the issue, maybe its her total lack of talent, skill and ability when it comes to anything to do with singing.

gag.

Heres a quote from Heidi...
“Whatever women need to do to feel sexy, they should do, I’ve always been very insecure about my body. My whole life, I looked at my chest and was like, OK, they’re going to grow. This is my year! And it never happened. I was less than an A-cup. I wore pushup bras, which cut into my skin. If I was with a guy and there was a girl next to me with big boobs, I would be like, Oh, my God, he’s looking at her! On the beach, if I was standing next to a girl with big boobs, I’d be like, I hate her! I hated my nose too. I have my dad’s nose, which is huge. It took up so much of my face, when I looked down, I could see my nose. I couldn’t get away from it!”

 Call me old fashioned but I feel like there are definitely better ways to overcome your insecurity issues than going under the knife. I don't know if I'd ever consider plastic surgery, but then again I'm not trying to take on ~Hollywood. What is she saying to girls around the world? Don't like your nose... get it clipped. Not comfortable with your weight? Dont bother working out, get lipo!

 All I can say is, if Heidi keeps obsessing over plastic surgery shes going to end up looking a lot like this in a few years...

 Eek!

XOXO

KELS

Who knew?

I promise that this blog wont be all about oral sex! This was just too good to pass up. I wonder if theres any truth behind this!?

xoxo

Whos got swagger?

Jay-Z does!

Everything about Jay-Z screams confidence, power and sexuality;

from his voice, to his style, to his big-sexy lips... Jay Z is fiiiineee.

Not only is he a musical powerhouse, but he's bagged some of hip-hop's finest ladies such as Foxy Brown, Blu Cantrell, Trina, and as his big pimpin' days come to an end, The Queen of R&B, Beyonce.

I see you, Jay!

And I totally recommend checkin' out Jay's new video 'On To The Next One,' featuring Swizz Beatz.
This track is HOT! Tell me what you think.




XOXO
KELS

pants party pt. 2

Cunnilingus, eating out, giving head, going down... Oral sex (on a female), no matter what you call it, should be a regular part of any intimate relationship. Why you ask? Because its awesome, it feels good, and it won't get you ( the lady) pregnant. But its all about the give and take. I've heard too many of my female friends complain about how their partners refuse to "go down" on them! Come on, guys! Its not often that a girl will completely turn down a guy when he wants oral, but what is it about a vagina that so many guys are afraid of? This mystical and scary female zone is totally worthy of some (lots) of attention.So I've broken it down to a few reasons why a guy might be turned off by the idea of giving oral to his lady.

1) Fear of not doing it right. I've heard from so many boys (notice...boys) that the only time they will go down on a girl is if they are drunk. This is craziness. For one, drunken sex can be totally fun but its also less meaningful and COORDINATED! You won't magically become good at giving oral after taking a few shots, trust me. Lapping and licking uncontrollably is unattractive and painfully unpleasurable. So, how do we resolve this? There is no step by step manual on how to give good head (well, there might be but that doesn't mean it will work), but if you are really interested in the desires of your partner then you should get to know their likes and dislikes. Ask her what she wants, what feels good, and how she wants it. Faster or slower?  Fingers or no fingers? Communication is key. This will solve your problem. Don't be scared! She will be so impressed!

---if you really need help, take some tips from websites like these, it may help you feel less in the dark.

http://thepqnation.com/livingwicked/2009/05/wickeds-guide-to-ah-mazing-cunningulus/

2) He doesn't like the taste/smell. Ugh, please. If a woman is healthy and practices good hygine then her smell and taste are both totally normal and natural. While it may not taste like cotton candy or smell like freshly cut grass, neither does semen! And I'm pretty sure that not many guys truly enjoy the taste or smell of vodka/gin/whiskey or cheap beer either, but that doesn't put a damper on their willingness to binge drink as if alcohol was going out of style. What it comes down to is, guys who are completely unwilling to (atleast try and) service their ladies are selfish and undeserving of oral sex themselves !

3) He would rather just have sex. While its obvious that regular intercourse can be great, there is something to be said about oral. Females crave intimacy, and by going down on your woman, you're focusing your energy entirely on pleasing her...how much more intimate can you get?  A friend told me that he feels a lot of satisfaction knowing that he's doing what he can to make his lady happy. It always feels good to help those in need, right? Plus, going down on her doesn't need to be the end of things, you could totally use this as a way to "pre-heat the oven!"

And ladies, don't be afraid to tell your guy what you want. Don't let yourself go feeling unfulfilled : )

Chivalry isn't dead, and certainly not in the bedroom.

XOXO KELS

there's a party in my pants and you're all invited

When asked to spill about the first time she had ever engaged in oral sex, friend and reader, "L", confessed:

"I felt like I was taking a important exam, one that was a huge part of my grade -- and I hadn’t studied the material yet. Where do I put my hands? What do I do with my lips?  Is it possible for my teeth to just take a vacation for 10 minutes or so!? I still remember un fastening his belt, pulling down his dark jeans, and tugging on his briefs. There was no going back now I realized, I only wish I had thrown a pillow on the floor first for my knees. There I was, face to face with his penis, more nervous then a prostitute at Sunday service. 

 At first I started sucking delicately, minding my teeth. But as he got more excited, he grabbed the back of my head and thrusted so deep that my nose collided with his stomach. My eyes started to tear up a bit, and I was thankful for the waterproof mascara I had applied that morning. I continued to suck it gently, moving at the pace his strong hands dictated. Before I could even get the hang of it- his knee jerked ferociously and my mouth was on the receiving end of a white liquid more salty then the ocean. Unsure of what to do with the weird taste in my mouth, I quickly swallowed, and an ‘ICK, WHAT THE FUCK’ escaped my lips before I could stop it. He looked at me, giggled, pushed my hair out of my face, and left. It was over.  

Since this experience I’ve gotten much more practice and even come accustomed to the  funny taste of un born children. With experience comes technique, comfortability, and confidence.  Plus, have you ever heard a guy turn down a blow job? I sure haven't. Now if only we could get them to return the favor more often, but that is a whole ‘nother post."

           

the sexuality of smoking pt.2

It was new years eve and she was dressed in black; she looked beautiful--but then again she always did... this night was just different. It wasn't quite midnight yet and she was sitting on the frozen back steps of a friend's house. The sky was the deepest shade of black, and the moon; a brilliant milk white. The moonbeams poured their light down upon her; illuminating her chocolate hair and caramel skin. It was freezing, as New England winters always are-- but she didn't seem to notice the cold in the air, or the foggy clouds of vapor that came billowing out of her mouth when she spoke, or when she breathed.

She picked up the rose colored lighter that was set beside her and lit a cigarette. I don't remember if there were other people around her or if she was all alone out there; but I do remember the way she would take the cigarette from her mouth and watch it slowly burn. She seemed so entranced; exchanging between deep puffs of smoke, and quick swigs of blood red wine.

She was sitting in the cold, beneath the stars, wearing a black minidress and tall heels. She looked so mysterious and dark; a true lady of the night. The cigarette she held between her fingers made her seem  elegant, and deep. I wondered if I'd ever seen someone look this sexy before. Damn, this girl belongs in vogue, I thought.

That moment was pure art. I was perplexed and fascinated as I watched her deep inhalations, exhalations, and the way the tiny embers of burning fire at the tip of her cigarette contrasted against the pure darkness of the night sky. This was the first time in my life I had ever seen smoking as anything more than a stupid habit picked up by those trying to look cool. And there she was... smoking; looking ridiculously cool, and undeniably beautiful.

Again, I'm not in any way saying that you should go pick up smoking to look mysterious and sexy; because in most scenarios, thats not the result at all.

What's sexy is when a person can be all of those things that she was that night, without smoking.

What's sexy is being mysterious by just being you, not by lighting up a cigarette. I don't want to make this sound like an anti-smoking campaign or anything but

whether we like to hear it or not, cigarettes will end up killing you, and thats so not hot.

All for now,

XOXO KELS

the sexuality of smoking

While I don't in any way endorse smoking cigarettes, I have to admit that there's just something undeniably sexy about a lit cigarette in the hand of a hot boy or girl. I mean, Bob Dylan was absolutely fabulous looking anyways; but as he lights up a smoke, he totally exemplifies his untouchable, bad-boy, rock star persona. Would he really look like such a mystery man in the above photo if it wasn't for the cigarette?

What is it about lighting up  that makes a person look  so  ~cool, mature, sophisticated, sexy?

Throughout most of high school, I totally looked down my nose at my friends who smoked (sorry guys!). I guess I just didn't understand how anyone could even consider picking up a cigarette knowing all of the risks. I mean, why would anyone want yellow teeth and black lungs? Or cancer?!

Trashy, trashy, trashy, trashy: I'd never seen smoking in any other way; well, until I saw her that is.

To be continued...

Got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid

 

Almost every journal I've had since the sixth grade has been covered proudly in gel pen scribbled hearts, lustful daydreams, and the ever changing initials of whatever boy I was crushing on at the time. Somehow, in between the pages of hate-filled rants directed towards my crazy-redhaired mother, my all too rural hometown, and my experiences with school related drama... there was always room for things like "I luv Keith sOo much!" or "I wonder if I shOuld give Craig a chance... He is SO hOtt!"

Eventually this innocent boy-crazyness evolved into detailed crush lists and confessions about making out, heart break, hooking up, my virginity, my first love, and tons of other things...
           Several boyfriends, crushes, kisses, spit swapping-boob grabbing-oh my god we got to second base-dry humping sessions, and a rendezvous or two with unrequited love later...

Romance, passion, love and lust remain enormously important parts of my every day musings and adventures. So, The Love Monster is born.

This blog is about young love, old love, young lust, heartbreak, crushing, hot boys, even hotter girls, kissing, cuddling, relationships, sex, ~the single life, fashion, dating, growing up, and my advice/ contemplations on them all.  XOXO KELS